The mission is awesome!!!!

I don’t have very much time so this letter is the letter you get and you don’t throw a fit! Lexy didn't write me so I hope she isn’t dead, but don’t worry about that!  I love it here--the mission is awesome! The MTC was hell, but here is awesome!!!!

My area is called Municipal and me and Elder Evans are in charge of about five pretty big neighborhoods, we walk all day and it is awesome! So let me tell you about my week!

Monday when I got off the phone with everyone I felt pretty good, but after sitting on that plane for just three of the 11 hours I felt awful and didn’t know what to do. I felt sick and was unhappy and didn’t sleep a wink eleven hours of trying, but no luck I just sat there for days.... And i thought a lot of negative and that was bad and I am sorry... but that flight was hell. But that was fine I loved talking to everyone and Lex said some stuff that made me super happy!

Tuesday I saw a friend in the Argentina MTC and that was cool Andrew Bell was there, but I didn’t get to see him, but I loved seeing the temple no luck on going in, but seeing it was freaking awesome!!! Then we finally got to go and fly to the mission, and President Goates is nice and he likes family a lot and I think me and him will get along just fine, I don’t love him yet, but I don’t really know him and he doesn't really know me yet so that’s fine.

Wednesday I told the president everything about my time in the MTC--how much I hated it and how bad I felt and he wasn't worried, he promised me an awesome trainer and that everything would be better here, he promised. We got to see a monument and that is where the picture was taken, that wasn't my district, but that was some of the greeenies with me! I love the food here, that day we had pastel de papa and I loved it-- try and find it, it’s like a pie with meat and then potatoes and then like a glaze of melted marshmallow and cinnamon. It’s super good!

Thursday, this is the day I got to meet Elder Evens and he is a stud and I love him, he makes me happy and he is just a really stellar guy. He sings a lot just randomly, and we talk a lot about musica and all the things of home, not to make me bummed, or him bummed, but just because. We try not to think of the sad things just good and we sing a lot it helps me a ton, he is a huge blessing in my life! We did some abrir la boca open the mouth that night and I learned I knew none of the language and it was scary, but I am getting a lot better. We get 1800 pesos a month and it goes forever and we have bagged milk its really weird, we also have a Walmart and I love it. We get to walk everywhere and my feet are tired.

Friday-- Milanesa is awesome, the chicken one is way good and the food all around is awesome. I’m sleeping really bad every night, but I just had not a lot to say for this day, but we walked and tried all day and no one was home or interested it was rough but fine.

Saturday I got super sun-burnt from walking and being outside all day and that’s awesome! So  I’m getting all kinds of tan and it's hot here! My first lesson was Friday and we taught a less active about prayer and how it is important still and he came to church so that was awesome and really cool! We bought empanadas and they were freaking delicious and then our duieno bought us a pizza and I loved it! We have some food now in the pensh our house and that’s no normal, but it’s awesome. Reese’s peanut butter cups are like gold here so we had one of those too.

Sunday we had two less actives come to church which was awesome and way cool!  I might have slept through every meeting except gospel doctrine, but I’m so tired it’s hard not to.... We got fed so much spaghetti that day I thought I would die....but that’s fine. We had to speed teach  lesson 1 to a family and they were talking, laughing and super irreverent--it was impossible to feel the spirit and I didn't like that much, but its fine we will get them next time and do better.  It wasn't really our fault, but I felt bad, but my language skills are coming.

I’m gaining confidence and happiness every day and I’m loving it here! I love this place and my mission! I don’t know my address and will send you pictures next week! Much love dad and mom!

You guys are awesome-- know that your son is doing good.
Sincerely, Elder Benedict

Random question, did Elder Ireland call you?

He made it alive and well!!

Dear Benedict Family,        

We are happy to inform you that your missionary has arrived here in Mendoza alive and well!

 Following a short orientation and dinner with President and Sister Goates, the new missionaries were then brought to the mission home to do a few formalities, recuperate from the flight and have a brief testimony meeting.

Today they will meet their trainers, receive trainings from the assistants to the president, and have their first individual interview with President Goates. After this they will be off to their first assignment area. I am putting with this email a group picture we took the first day in Argentina and you can even follow the blog of the mission at http://argentinamendozamission.blogspot.com.ar/

May the Lord continue to bless you and your family for all that you do in order to support your missionary.
                                                                                 
Sincerely,
                                       

Elder Barton
Secretario
Misión Argentina Mendoza

On his way to Argentina!

22 September 2014

Jayson saw Eli Grubb and Kenna Embly at the Frontrunner station in Salt Lake City on his way to the airport to get on his flight to Argentina on September 22nd.

Jayson also let us know that he was able to sit with Mike Hibbert at the devotional Sunday night before leaving the MTC. After the devotional Mike and Jayson found an empty room and gave each other a blessing. Mike wrote, "I now know how Joseph Smith felt baptizing Oliver Cowdery then having Oliver baptize Joseph. It was so spiritual. I can promise you men and young men preparing that blessing comes from God. When you open your mouth He will speak through you."

Struggling

19 September 2014

So I decided I had to send you something to let you know that i am living and tell you what has happened the last few days with me. So yesterday I went to my appointment put everything out on the table with the guy and I was not feeling good. On the 45 question stress test they gave me I was in the eighties somewhere, the acceptable limit is at 62. Twenty two points above I think is where I was. 62 points is an unhealthy level of stress but it is manageable and handle able. But where I was on the scale at the end of my hour session with the guy, Brother Burton I think it was, he told me that I had to truly decide upon my standings on that test and how I felt,  if I thought I was healthy enough to go into the field--he gave me two options really, one I go to Argentina on Monday and make myself become better through rational thoughts and a focus on the work. But he said if I didn’t change how I was doing now it wouldn’t get easier there and I couldn’t bank on being okay from just trying in a different country. Option number two, he truly made me promise that I would consider and think about the possibility of going home on an honorable medical discharge from the mission for depression. He said that my stress levels were high enough that the possibility of that happening was just as likely now as in three months if I truly didn’t feel like I could get better.... I told him then and there that I would suffer through months of this hell before I went home for "depression" and that it was an impossible thought in my head. He told me after that, that I had to make that decision by Saturday. That I had to think about it, that I had to pray about it, that I had to know that I would receive a full honorable return allowance for no other reason than me being incapable. Then that night I was studying with the zone leaders and I was able to suddenly have this huge drive to study and to work and to understand and to become better. After that i felt so much better and I was genuinely happy for a little minute and I was feeling like I could handle stuff, then as we taught the law of chastity that night I felt good and I felt the spirit. Then I went home and slept and woke up still feeling better, but not the same as the night before. I knew that God helped me last night and that through last night he was telling me that he could help me through it. Then I had an interview with the equivalent of a stake president today and I didn’t feel any better after that, mostly because I had my last night feelings going on right then, but after all day doing infield orientation I felt bad again, back in the rut. But I am going to stay here, and I know God will help me. I’m doing better I promise.

I love you parents. I am handling this the best I can and will continue to. Pray for me.
Elder Jayson Benedict

I'm pretty worried about me

18 September 2014

I’m sorry you are worried about me... I’m pretty worried about me to. Honestly I’m really not doing too good. I have an appointment with a psychologist at four so that should be good and help me some. I’m just honestly not feeling like I’m getting help from the Lord like I need in order to keep doing his work. But estoy bien I will work through it. I always do. So I don’t know if Jesika has told you about my flight plans but I leave Monday the 22 and will be leaving Salt Lake at 11 in the morning for Atlanta, I will land there at 4:40 pm and from there I will be heading to Argentina at nine at night. So over all I should have over four hours of just sitting, but I’ve written you about this in your real letter that you should receive Saturday or Friday. Probably Saturday if I had to guess. In my email to you I will include pictures of the flight plans that I have and let you know all the details on that. Don't tell dad but I’m not gonna write him an email today so this is the only one you guys will get. Maybe I’ll send him all my pictures.Ya that’s what I’ll do. Being diplomatic up in here ;) So as you will see in my letter to you this week has been really hard for me. I just have gotten all kinds of depressed for what seems like no reason and I hate it. I miss being happy so bad. I told Lexy all about it in the letters she won’t receive until I’ve left the country, but you can ask her about them once she gets them. She seems to be struggling up at collage like I am here... La lucha es real. But on Sunday, I had the opportunity to watch The Joseph Smith movie again and I always bawl during that movie. It’s just so strong and powerful and the truth of his message and this book are so real. I love that I’ve been able to gain so many great insights into the church and how much my testimony has just jumped up and how I can now feel the spirit so much stronger. The problem is that I still lack the spirit of comfort. I have received so much of the spirit of the truth of the doctrine and I know like I have never known before that the church is true and that God leads it through a prophet but I just don’t seem to receive all the promises that I have been promised. But onto the next point, you guys were gone but the Utah stake, like Jesika I think, and the Wasatch stake, I think, got to watch elder Richard G Scott speak and then last Tuesday he came to the MTC and spoke to us. It was a really great talk and I will send dad pictures of the notes I took because it really was a great talk and I love him. It was all about prayer and a lot of it I had already known and was practicing, but it was a lot of confirmation that what I’m doing whenIi pray is the right way to be doing it. Which is equally scary because I don’t feel like it is working, a couple of things that I really loved that he said was "I know without a doubt, every good thing in my life came from my decision to serve a mission" Me encanta this quote because this man was so cool and he had done so many great things in his life and became an apostle, but all good things came from him deciding he was going to serve a mission. I loved that line he also offered us a promise as missionary’s. "As you pray God will convey to you what you need to do to have a successful mission." I hope that is right and true because I need the Lords direction so much in my life. I am seriously not doing well, better today than I have in a long while, but I’m still struggling. I know that God loves his children and he loves me. He has revealed the truth of this gospel to me, but I still don’t seem to receive all that I think I need. Hopefully God will give me what is expedient for me and not let me fall. It is my most sincere and heart felt prayer and I say it almost every night in some form or another. I have turned into such a little baby here in the MTC. I’m not sure there has been a night in the last two and a half weeks where I haven’t cried. Its tough business, but its Gods work. Christ’s life was never easy so I don’t expect representing him will be easy either. I just hope that it gets better from where I am. I’m not sure how long I can keep working how I am, but I promise that I will continue to try as long as I possibly can. I pray that God will love me and not let me fall.
I love this church and I love the truth I know. I know this is all real and Satan knows that I have a gained a testimony of it stronger than either of us knew was possible and now he seems to be throwing new angles of ways to hurt me. I will keep fighting though. I bet you I won’t come home mom. I bet you.
Love your missionary.
Elder Jayson Benedict

Being district leader is hard!

Mom,

I don’t really have time to write you a great email and you guys won’t be getting the letters I wrote you today, I’m so sorry I don’t have the kind of time I want to write you back appropriately, I don’t even really have time to read your email, if you would print it and send it to me I will write you back sentence by sentence while you are gone, it should help me cope with you not writing me!

Me and Elder Randall

So this week hasn’t really been cool, or had a ton of spiritual stuff that has happened to me, mostly it’s just the little things and the letters I'm sending, sorta talk about it. On Sunday I got to watch a video on temples and the power therein--I absolutely loved it! I love the temples, they are just the coolest of places and they make me so happy! I learned so much about how hard it was to build the Salt Lake temple and all the blessings that are there in, and how much I love eternal families. The idea that if I keep myself worthy I will get to be with you for eternity makes me so happy!  I need you for forever and I love you for forever!  I just felt the spirit so strong about the importance of the temple and the work done there. I love the quote you gave me about the law of consecration and how it is important to remember that this mission is the ultimate expression of that law and I’m doing my best to live it.

My district

Yesterday I had a real struggle and had to pray for quite a bit of time to God while I cried to him and just told him how I was feeling, I honestly didn't feel a ton better and still don’t, but I’m working hard and doing the best I can to keep going. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you gone next week! I get travel plans tomorrow and you guys are leaving, you never told me if you were gonna get me a track phone for the trip with four hours or something prepaid on the phone that I could just trash, it’s what I want you to do, but I’m not sure you have time for it, it would be a huge help to me if you can, but don’t stress too much. So you won’t even get to know about my travel plans tomorrow when I get to write you about it. Maybe you can get the grandparents to find me a track phone for the lay over, maybe I’ll write them about  it and figure it out since you are lame and will be gone!!!! Just kidding--it’s just hard for me to know that you will be gone my last week here in Utah because I’m selfish! I really hope you have the time of your life at Lake Powell!!!

Ate lunch at the main MTC--I'm currently losing weight--but probably not after today!

The place I go to class is just the exact same as my apartment, but with a white bored, we study in the separate rooms and get taught in the living room, a lot like the one that you have picture of our beds in, but with desks and stuff!

Elder Randall and I are doing okay, but that is far too complex to answer right now. I’ll write you about it in a real letter this week!

Neither Elder Killenguard or Sister Brough  are in my district, they are in a different one, but I do see them and they are fine people!

I’m not sure what the plan is for the glow in the dark paint, but I’m excited to use it! Nothing too stupid I promise!!!

For gym we have bubbles like they have at Surf and Swim. We have basketball courts, four square courts, weights and a few volleyball courts. We play volleyball a lot; we enjoy that as we go as a district.

The Tuesday devotional was pretty lame, but the director of choir was way sick and he talked about how we can’t afford not to serve a mission, but I fell asleep during the seventy’s talk....

I’m not really sleeping better, but I’m trying and yes I found my shaving cord.

I broke a light cover like this today while changing my sheets

This is blood from the glass that some how got me bad!

I love you so very much mom! You are amazing! I will miss you so much this week, make sure my friends like Jordan and Kema write me while you are gone or I might die or come home, I’m not sure. Lex is gonna be busy with collage this week so she can’t write me a lot so they need to pick up some slack for her. Please tell them to write me I need them!






Love your son and missionary.
Elder Jayson Benedict



Dad,
Kay so I don’t have a lot of time today, my district wants to go out to eat which is allowed, but they think its gonna take us more than an hour and it won’t, but I’m going to go and chaperone as the leader but I’m worried about it, 

This week has honestly been pretty boring, I’ve taught I think ten lessons or something, but that’s fake stuff, one of my guys is committed to baptism but it wasn’t as good as the last one, I wasn’t in the game that lesson, I study all the time for so long and it is so hard and being a district leader is way hard, I don’t love being a leader. It’s really hard and I don’t feel like I’m good enough, but hopefully God will help me. Sunday was way cool but I’ll write mom about that, I wrote both of you guys real letters but you won’t get them till next Friday and my emails are gonna be short today. Im super sorry, if you have any questions for me please just send them quick! I love you dad so very much. Don’t worry; mom is going to still get a good email I just feel like you can handle getting a slightly less good one!

Gabe Jasmer and I

You are an amazing father and I wrote about it in my letter to you, look forward to that letter, it’s a good one. I’m bummed I won’t get to hear from you this week and Lexy is gonna be busy with collage so just try to send me something or get grandparents to write me or get my friends. I get really lonely during the week and they need to write me when you are gone!

Love you tons
Jayson

I'm starting to enjoy my stay here more

                                                                                                     4 September 2014
Dad
So you guys' week sounds stacked and freaking awesome! I am so jealous of all the biking you get to do! This week has honestly been pretty good. Monday I had a really, really bad day though, we went about to go teach our lessons and we just did not have the spirit with us at all and we were just awful we had no power or anything, we could hardly speak and I have never felt so awful in my life! But then as we talked with one of our teachers, the guy who was my investigator and is now my teacher and no another investigator--he was talking to us and was wondering why we did so bad today, he knows we often have the spirit and for us not was weird and he was genuinely concerned for why we did so badly on the lesson, it was just so bad! So after that, feeling way butt hurt we went out and I studied hard for my block of study so that we could teach with the spirit and bring power back to our lessons and I gained so much from that time of prayer and study. I was so focused on what I was doing and what I needed to learn it just felt amazing!!! Then when we taught on Tuesday, it was mas mejor (much better) and I felt it stronger, we still struggled in one lesson, but did tons better in another one! Then on Tuesday night we had a way good devotional but I’ll write mom about that! Then Wednesday I kept up my good study habits and in a lesson was able to get my investigator on our third lesson to pray if baptism was right for him. We honestly skip around so much it hard to know what is going on here. It’s still really hard to lose myself in the work here at the MTC but I sure am trying. I wrote you and mom a letter yesterday I think I’m not positive, but you should get it soon! By the way your son was a host yesterday and you will never believe it until I send you pictures, but I hosted two people from Layton High and Mike hosted the same two people!!! The second kid I hosted was Gabe Jasmer!!! How weird is that???? I just happened to be at the temple the first time he went through the temple, and then I was the first person he really got to talk to down here in west campus!!! It was a way cool experience! Then my third kid was Austin Walker, I’m not sure you met him, but me and him were pretty tight school friends who got along real well and we talked a lot. He was gonna do a song cover for us once upon a time but never did, but that’s fine! He was way sic and it was great for me to get to talk with him!! I’m doing good here and am happy!
I am in fact getting all the Dear Elders they are just hard to read due to them printing them really weird so it’s hard to write you back off of them--but keep sending them. If you have any questions for me, write them in a real letter! I’m super jealous of you guys all going swimming, and I’m going to miss that pool so much, but I’ll be fine! I’m doing good here dad! I’m glad your heart is getting better I hope it will continue to!!
 I love you so much!
Your son and missionary
Jayson benedict!!!

Mom,
So I am so freaking jealous about all the stuff you guys are doing, but you don’t want to hear about yourselves you want to hear about me right? :)

So I have been in a real good mood of late this week and it’s been awesome I’m really starting to enjoy my stay here more and more and its awesome!!! I love this place more, but still wish I was home as you may expect. So I haven’t really had many cool teaching moments or any big cool moments that just happened throughout the week and that’s usually the stuff I write you. But on Monday night while I was studying super hard in preach my gospel and going HAM  (hard as a missionary) and I was getting so much out of it. I’ll send you pictures about what my pages in it looks like. Chapters four of preach my gospel about feeling the spirit is amazing and you should read them and pray hard. When I’m studying I probably pray thirty times in three hours. So it keeps me focused and it helps you gain more-- pray while you study I promise it helps and you just feel more information seep in that you want to write down to remember for later!!!

So I loved that, then on Tuesday we had the devotional of my life, I don’t know if it was because I was getting closer to the spirit on Monday and Tuesday after a lesson, tour us a new one but I was so in to it, I’ll send you picture of what I wrote down and what I said in my journal.

At the end, he said something about earning our mission badge. One man who served as a bishop for five years, part of a stake presidency seven years, and as a stake president for six years. Finally he and his wife went on a mission. He felt like he was doing more as a missionary than he had as stake president. He then said, "You are worthy, and like this man you have earned your badge and will love it forever", or something like that. I felt the spirit so strong and I knew I was worthy and ready to be here, and that I’m earning my badge now, and I love my badge- it means the world to me.

Brother Heartman--second counselor in my branch presidency. I love him lots!

-
I also got to host this week and it was Gabe Jasmer and another friend of mine. I’ll send you the selfies I took with them, I think I told dad about it, if I didn’t write me and I’ll explain it all! Hosting was a blast and I loved it! Both the kids from Layton were hosted by me and Mike so it was way cool! I’m loving what I’m doing, and I’m loving the spirit here.

Me and my companion are getting along pretty good, he has gotten a lot more confident though and talks more. Some of the things he says are rude, and some off color and they bother me, but I don’t feel like I can correct it, but its fine were doing okay here. I’m feeling good and we have the spirit, we could just have more if we knocked off the crude jokes and slight judgments.

My Spanish is pretty okay, I’m struggling at understanding it, but I can speak through a lesson pretty good with Elder Randal’s help. I need to work more on sentence structure and how I can be better at speaking sentences. Conjugating Spanish is hard for me too, its weird but I’m enjoying it!

I've started eating a lot less at meals and I fasted this week once. When I weighed I was down four pounds, I have a salad and fruit with dinner every day and only take two things from the main meal that I want, and it helps me feel good. I also don’t eat a ton for breakfast and that’s probably helping a lot too! The foods is okay here at west campus and its good, but at main campus its way better! We go to main campus every p-day and eat there, its way better!

I did get my cookies as well. When you took those creeper photos for me, those Raintree apartments you took pictures of are my apartments and we stay in 3R I think you took a picture of 1R, close but not quite. I’m on the top floor left side from the stairwell.

I am sleeping, but not great. I get to bed by eleven thirty every night and am getting better at going to bed on time, but I wake up at four thirty or five every morning which is fine, I just lay in bed and wait for it to end, its rough but good. I wake up at six some mornings to finish letters and what not, but not too often!

My district getting ready to HOST

I am happy, but I am not using my oils enough, I should probably get better at that... my bad... I really am staying positive. I miss you guys so much! "Hey how’s the pregnant lady doing? I miss her." I think I was supposed to say that at the end of letter somewhere and I have a letter in route to Jesika, it should be there tomorrow! Hey, see if you can get all the videos of Lexy when she was high and get them on a disc for me!!!

I love you and miss you like crazy! Be happy and awesome! Keep writing me--I do get all your Dear Elders and love them!

Sincerely your son and missionary-
Elder Jayson Benedict!

Homesick, but doing better-ish!

28 August 2014

Dad,

So as you might have guessed, this week was kind of rough, on Thursday I was feeling so homesick from emailing and I’m sure I will feel the same way as soon as I’m done with it today, but that night was amazing because Roberto who the night before had accepted to follow the Word of Wisdom had now committed to baptism with us!!! It was a super cool experience! This is him.

He is a way good guy and was way fun to teach. Then the next day after we taught this volunteer he walks in as our teacher Hermano Croft-- and I’m like what???? I sort of knew but didn't think so, it was just weird. Then after that day, because Fridays are lame usually, on Saturday I sort of had a miracle that I’ll explain in my "small plates to mom" later today! Then Sunday was good, more spiritual stuff I’ll write to mom... Then on Monday I got super depressed, I wanted letters so bad on Monday and I totally thought I would be getting a huge letter from Lexy and from you guys but I didn't, that’s what the depressing mail is that you’re going to receive that you can’t open yet! So I wrote you Monday and sent it Tuesday so I assume you’ll get it today, I don’t really know! Tuesday equally depressing and wrote you again. Tuesday we had a pretty good devotional again that I’ll explain to mom later in my day, like at two-ish,  then Wednesday was lame-ish and I was still super depressed and sad, but got a letter from mom and Lex in Dear Elder and that helped me a ton, really it was still hard because I see all the cool stuff, and I just get way sad again, but it’s this constant game of fighting up and down with the Devil who wants me to leave this place and me who wants to stay, but really wants to be with you guys too! It’s really hard because I have no one I can really just talk to here so I’m working on all of this and praying like it is my day job! The MTC would be a lot easier if I wasn't thinking of Lexy, but I don’t regret it at all, I’m in love with that girl so much it stinking kills me, so ya here I am, please write me real letters I have way more time then to write you guys and can actually tell you everything that you may want to know. They bus us all over the place, we go to church up by Cougar stadium and then we have to go to main campus for devotionals. On Sundays and on Tuesdays I always get to see Mike which helps me a ton, and I’m really doing better-ish. I can’t wait to get to the airport and get to call you guys I miss you so much its crazy! Please don’t forget you’re not allowed to open those letters I sent yet, so make that a thing! I love you dad a lot, one of those letters, the second one is kind of dedicated to you so, look forward to that. I love you dad you are amazing!!!

Love,

Jayson

P.S. You sold my car? Now I really can’t come home I guess, that is super rough for me! You know I struggle when I don’t have Marvin, he is my baby!!!!

My house with our zone leader Elder Miles

Hey mom, I’ll write you a good letter later on, but you need to know not to open the letter I sent you in the mail when it comes, when you have both the letters I sent you this week open the second one you receive first because it is less depressing the first one sucks and you don’t have to open it, but can, I was just depressed those days, I haven’t seen Lexy either by the way and it sucks for me too... a lot... 

I love you mom, please don’t open the letters yet!!!

Jayson

Mom,

So this week really hasn't been that bad, it’s been pretty good really, and I know you miss me! You weren't supposed to open that letter until you got the next one in the mail! You are not very good at listening to my instructions!!!! So on Thursday night I got my investigator to agree to be baptized so we were freaking pumped, but still pretty homesick, the spirit when you ask someone to be baptized and change their life is just amazing and I can’t even believe how much I loved it when he accepted!!!! Then on Friday we just found out that my investigator was now my teacher weird…but cool!!!! Then on Saturday I had a way cool experience I was teaching the restoration in a five minute lesson like we had to cram it all in super fast which is pretty much always, we talk a lot with the investigator and try to get to know them. But when I was teaching it for five minutes in practice I had to testify in the last twenty seconds of the lesson and I felt the spirit so strong, I just knew it was real and true and loved it. Then on Sunday at the devotional I had a great experience with the spirit again. I was sitting watching the restoration movie where the girl is converting her dad on the boat and it shows Josephs life. I felt so much understanding and love for that man, I just know it has to be true. I left my family and the love of my life for the next two years and Joseph knew that he would die for it and not see them in this existence again. He is one pretty rocking dude! I loved the way I felt and I cried like a little girl when I watched it. Then on Monday before I got all depressed because I still thought mail was coming, I had TRC which is like we teach family home evening with a member, and it was just a sweet experience for me to get to talk to people for a while, they knew it all and just wanted to feel the spirit that I could bring I really, really like that. But, then Tuesday I was just sad like all day, but got focused I didn't get to teach Tuesday so until the devotional I was just bummed out, but at the devotional the ten word phrase "If it is to be, it is up to me" was said and I loved it and felt better and knew my attitude had to change and that is when I wrote you the letter you should get tomorrow. The beginning is more about you, but dad’s part at the end had me crying like a little girl. Then Wednesday I saw I had a Dear Elder and just put my head down and worked and prayed that it wasn't a Dear John-- I hope she still loves me... and then I got to open and it and just thought about how I couldn't wait to tell you about the high points of my week--it really has been a good week I just miss you guys a ton... I have a few questions and wants. You don’t have to quick with them but let me know.

Do I need international stamps?

Can I get some cool striped socks?

Bottle of wart remover

Tape that is just scotch

Duct tape

Come unto Christ youth theme sheet music

The Witnesses sheet music (I really miss music)

Pens, the bold point ones

Sharpies black

Glow in the dark paint

Glow in the dark star stickers

Otter pops

I think that’s everything, there’s more than I thought there was, but be slow about it. I’m also still wondering on those voice recorders and if we can make that happen! So I love you with all my heart, write me a real letter with any questions!

I love you guys!!!!

Jayson

Us chilling!

Our P-day tradition