Filled with the Spirit

25 April 2016

Hey mom! I’m doing good, but I'm not sure why my last weeks letter didn't send! I'm sorry it took so long to write you from last week, but at least now you have it! I’m sorry!!! I hate to break it to you, but tacos don't exist in Argentina, so fish tacos even less! :) But it’s all good as long as you think of me! :) I’m good with the comp, I'm really trying and its better. We don't really get to teach that much, we have very few lessons a week… this week we had five. It makes me miss my last area... we don't really have support, our branch has about 30 members who are active and then we have I think 5 members who work in the stake who can never come... So that sucks... but we get a lot of food! My comp will have food every day, I just leave it to him and he makes it happen… its awesome! No more studies, I have Gilbert’s disease other then that it may be parasites, so if its that like ya fue, I'm just going to wait until I get home to fix it all! :) 

Monday we had an awesome super p-day!! I was with Elder Bingham and Elder Romero and it was so awesome, just to be able to chat with them— to be able to be hanging out with them again! I have missed them more then I can even say! :) Then we didn't get in any house that night! 

Tuesday we went and did a little unplanned service for a family Galarza—it was fun! We prepared balloons and help set up the birthday party and then we went and taught Romiro and he is doing well, I'm still not sure if he understands why we visit them, but it was good and then we went and helped more with the Galarzas helping them make pizzas and it was awesome! I had a ton of food and got to eat so I mean I can’t complain! :) 

Wednesday we went and visited a less active lady who can’t go to church for her health and it was good and then we were going to leave she offered food to my compion and he was like food? Okay and so we stayed forever, and then her son who is not even close to active and smokes told us that we were bad examples for his kids and I was so mad!! We stayed because she offered and then he was just rude, I hate hypocrites... 

Thursday I had interviews with president! It was good!! I talked about some stuff and it was really good, but I was feeling really down on myself like I had failed the Lord. I’m not a disobedient missionary, but like everyone says if your not a perfectly obedient missionary you aren't doing what you should. So I was feeling really down… I felt like I wasn't a good person... So after the night finished I made a list of things I wanted to do with my last three months—a list of rules, a list of personal things and goals and it was good, but then I knelt down and talked to God... I begged for salvation and forgiveness in a way I never have, I was just trying to give all of what I am to God. I just wanted him to know how sorry I truly was for all the problems I had. As I cried and talked to God about all the things I felt...then I felt a unexplainable feeling. We feel the spirit as missionaries, but that moment I felt something so much stronger, I felt as if I was full, as if there wasn't space in me, like I might explode out of me. I felt like I was literally filled with the spirit in such a form that I can’t explain in human words. But it was truly incredible. The Lord knows me and knows that I am here and I'm struggling. He knows I want to be the best for him, but I fail. He forgave me of my sins and I know that he has used his Sons atonement to make me clean, I still fail, I still feel guilt and I know that the Lord loves me. I know he will make me what he wants me to be! 

Friday and Saturday we worked in the area of the district leader and it was awesome! I got to go meet Daniel Rojases family and it was awesome! I loved talking to them and then put an appointment for them! It was awesome! :) 

Sunday we taught Aldana and Cristopher and it was good. They don't seem that interested, but they said they would pray and read. Please pray for them so that they can progress and have more desires to learn! 

It was a good week! I love you mom! Be safe and happy—sorry for last week!

Love, Jayson